TALKING TO ONE'S CHILD ABOUT THE
FUNDAMENTALS OF SEX IS A CONVERSATION MOST PARENTS LIKE MY OWN HAVE AVOIDED OR
CAUSES THE PARENT TO BE VERY NERVOUS ABOUT. HOWEVER SEX IS VITAL TO THE
CONTINUATION OF THE HUMAN RACE AND THEREFORE WITH PLANNING AND PRACTICE THE
PARENT WILL BE ABLE TO EXECUTE THIS TASK EFFECTIVELY. TOO OFTEN PARENTS TEND TO
GO STRAIGHT INTO THE MECHANICAL AND ANATOMICAL FUNCTIONS OF THE ACT RATHER THAN
FOCUS AND EXPLAIN WHY IT IS DONE. ESPECIALLY IN THIS SOCIETY OF AGE WHERE SEX
IS DEGRADED TO VARIED FORMS OF PERVERSENESS DUE TO PORNOGRAPHY AND THE WIDELY
ACCEPTED FORMS OF SEXUAL PRACTICES. IF THE PARENT DOES NOT LAY THE FOUNDATION
RIGHT THE CHILD WILL LEARN AND BELIEVE IDEAS HE OR SHE RECEIVES FROM THE
CULTURE, FRIENDS, AND FALSE SOURCES SUCH AS THE INTERNET.
WHERE: THERE IS NO PERFECT ENVIRONMENT WHERE THE PARENT SHOULD
SEEK OUT IN ORDER TO HAVE THE TALK. THE ENVIRONMENT SHOULD BE A PLACE WHERE THE
PARENT AND THE CHILD FEELS COMFORTABLE AND FREE TO DISCUSS ANYTHING AND
EVERYTHING THE CHILD WANTS TO KNOW/OUGHT TO KNOW. SOME EXAMPLES CAN BE AT A
PARK, POND, IN THE FAMILY GAME ROOM, OR THE LIVING ROOM. AS LONG AS THE PARENT
AND THE CHILD CAN FREELY TALK WITHOUT NO HINDRANCES THEN THAT IS CONSIDERED A
GOOD ENVIRONMENT.
WHEN: THE PARENT SHOULD GIVE THE THIS TALK WHEN THE CHILD IS NOT
TOO YOUNG OR NOT TOO OLD. THE IDEAL AGE WOULD BE WHEN THE CHILD'S BODY IS
CHANGING PRIOR TO THE STAGE OF PUBERTY. WHEN THE CHILD IS ABLE TO DISTINGUISH
AND GRASP CONCEPTS THAT REGARD THEIR HEALTH. ACCORDING TO WEBMD, " WHEN
YOUR CHILD IS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL (IF NOT EARLIER, YOU'RE BOUND TO START GETTING
QUESTIONS, WHICH THEY ARE PROBABLY ALSO DISCUSSING WITH THEIR FRIENDS. AND
SINCE THEY'RE GOING TO BE GATHERING INFORMATION IT'S BEST THAT IT'S ACCURATE
AND THAT IT COMES FROM YOU." I AGREE THAT PARENTS SHOULD LAY THE
FOUNDATION AND THEY SHOULD GIVE THE CORRECT FACTS IN THE AGE JUST PRIOR TO
MIDDLE SCHOOL.
HOW/WHAT: HOW OPEN SHOULD A PARENT BE IS A FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTION,
THEREFORE THE ANSWER IS DEPENDING ON THE PHASE/MATURITY OF THE CHILD IN ORDER
TO GRASP THE SITUATION. STARTING OUT THE FUNDAMENTALS OF SEX THE DIFFERENCES
BETWEEN MALES AND FEMALES ARE IMPORTANT BUT AS THE CHILD MATURES AND GROWS
OLDER THE TOPICS OF THE PHYSICAL ACT OF SEX IS ALSO IMPORTANT TO DISCUSS AS
WELL AS FORMS OF HAVING SAFE SEX. THE PARENT CAN REFER TO SITES SUCH AS WEBMD
IN ORDER TO FIND TOPICS TO DISCUSS AND HOW TO PRESENT IT CORRECTLY AND
THOROUGHLY. TOO OFTEN PARENTS MISS IMPORTANT THINGS ABOUT SEX WHEN LOST IN THE
ANATOMICAL & PHYSIOLOGICAL ASPECTS OF IT. THESE INCLUDE:
-ABSTINENCE
-WHY IS SEX IMPORTANT
-WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE SEX
-MORALITY IN SEX
-THE FRAME OF WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE SEX
-LOVE AND HOW IT APPLIES TO SEX
IN
A SOCIETY WHEN THE MORAL FRAME WORK IS CRUMBLING OUR BASIC FUNDAMENTALS ARE
BEING DEGRADED ON TOPICS SUCH AS SEX. ONCE WE TEACH THE NEXT GENERATION THE
DIFFERENCE AND IMPORTANCE ON THE ART OF MAKING LOVE AND JUST PLAIN SEX WITH NO
POINT OF REFERENCE WE CAN TACKLE ALL OTHER ISSUES THAT PERTAIN TO THIS. IN A
WORLD WHERE ALL OTHER PHYSICAL METHODS OF PREVENTION OF STD'S, PREGNANCY, AND
OTHER RELATED ISSUES, I BELIEVE PARENTS TEND TO OVERLOOK ABSTINENCE. THAT IS
THE ONLY 100% EFFECTIVENESS OF PREVENTING STD's, STI's, and PREGNANCY. IN A
CULTURE WHERE THAT IS NOT TAUGHT AS A FOREFRONT IS DEFINITELY NOT RIGHT. I THINK
AS PARENTS WE NEED TO TEACH THE NEXT GENERATIONS HOW TO CONTROL THE THOUGHTS
AND DESIRES OF THE MIND AND THE HEART AND LEARN TO HAVE SEX IN THE CORRECT
FUNDAMENTAL FRAMEWORK FOR WHICH IT WAS DESIGNED FOR.
Hi Godly,
ReplyDeleteI really like your last statements, “I believe parents tend to overlook abstinence…I think as parents we need to teach the next generations how to control the thoughts and desires of the mind and heart…”. I also think that even if a parent is informative about having safe sex, the child has to be willing to listen and make a good choice. I don’t believe many people uphold abstinence as a virtue anymore. Unplanned pregnancies among our youth are becoming more of a norm in my opinion. I remember in high school that a girl became pregnant at the age of 15. Because she was in a popular crowd, her friends felt that having a baby was okay. Soon the majority of the girls in that crowd had babies of their own. By the time I graduated, almost a third of the girls in my graduating class had already had a child. To this day, I am not aware of any those girls continuing their education. That is what saddens me. I wish abstinence was still something more valued in our society.
Hi Godley,
ReplyDeleteI really liked your post and I 100% agree with what you said. I, myself, am from a family where i never got to talk to my parents, not even my mom, about anything related to sex or sexual organs. whatever I learnt, I learnt them from my friends. there were times when I used to worry about changes in my physical appearances, which I know now, are pretty normal but even if I had had any abnormal changes in any of those areas, I would not have been able to consult with my mother. We were very close but not in this matter.
Yes! There is not any "suitable place" for these talks. The main thing is that the parents have to be comfortable enough to talk about this with their kids.
One again Thank you for sharing your views.
Thank you.
Sapana Khadka